Design Dilemmas - How to Discuss Interior Design with Your Partner
Well, this is a blog I never thought I’d write but feel it’s an important topic to address as it is one that comes up in my business a LOT.
How to discuss interior design with your partner or spouse
Let me start with this - I am NOT qualified to provide relationship or financial advice and yet, here I am part-designer, part-therapist on every design project. SO take this with a grain of salt.
Here’s what usually happens. In a lot of households there are 2 financial decision makers and they don’t always see eye-to-eye on the value of things. This is normal. Whilst I personally wouldn’t see the value in my husband buying an extra car just for fun, likewise he personally doesn’t see the value in designer wallpaper.
SO, how do you handle design in your home if your partner or spouse doesn’t see the ‘value’?
Family Living Room by Carrie Cotton Design
Just as I usually do, I'm going to give you THREE ideas that I help my clients with. These also all ideas that work in my own home.
Interior Design Advice for Couples
1. My first tip is DO NOT start by saying you want to redo the entire living room. Here’s why. Your partner doesn’t value interior design and is only going to see ££££ flash before their eyes which is very counterproductive. DO NOT then follow up this comment with the amazing deals on furniture or a well-priced design service you found that will help you. Again, your partner doesn’t see the value in redesigning a living room so it’s all going to be a waste to them no matter the cost.
INSTEAD, think about WHY you want to redo the living room. Does it feel unfinished which makes you feel embarrassed when people are over? Is it not working for your day-to-day needs which is causing stress? Or maybe you feel it doesn’t represent who you are and that makes you feel sad? Whatever your reason for wanting to make the change, start with that. Chances are your partner doesn’t want you to feel unhappy, or stressed, or embarrassed. These are the things that are VALUABLE when it comes to speaking about interior design in your home with your spouse or partner.
2. It’s great that your partner is now onboard with making some improvements inside your home. But how do you make sure there are no hard feelings or arguments about the money being spent?
My next tip is to AGREE on an amount to spend BEFORE you start looking into purchases. This can be a lump sum that you stick to and track with each purchase. Alternatively, in our house, we set aside an amount each month that is dedicated to improving our home. Both ‘money’ methods work really well because it puts you and your partner on the same page and house design becomes something you work towards together.
3. My last tip is all about happiness. Let this report do the talking - “What Makes a Happy Home” in the Good Home Report 2019. The report says that our homes account for 15% of our overall happiness and 73% of people who are happy at home are also happy in life. Pretty powerful stuff!
Creating a home you love is a great project to do together. While some people love to dive in and be hands-on, others prefer to be hands-off. Find the right balance for you and your spouse/partner to ensure happiness both during the “home project” and afterwards. I hope you find these ideas helpful as I know couples don't always prioritize a home in the same way.
If you have gone through these steps and are now thinking, "how do I make sure I spend this agreed-up budget wisely?" Book a 1-on-1 design call with me. This design call lasts around 30 minutes and you will be speaking with me, personally. I'll help you identify what is already working in your home and give you ideas on how to improve.
Alternative, READ our blog on 5 Easy Steps to Design a Home You Love that takes an easy step-by-step approach. And THEN, grab a copy of our FREE Home Design Roadmap. It is a practical tool to help you prioritise your home design.
Thanks for reading. If you found this helpful, follow me on Instagram where I share design tips, ideas, and inspiration regularly. Happy Designing!
